


Help Me

by bby_bxrnes



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Brief description of injury, F/M, Guilt, Panic Attacks, Self Esteem Issues, really bad writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 15:05:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17685770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bby_bxrnes/pseuds/bby_bxrnes
Summary: You have bad anxiety and self esteem issues. You and Bucky have only been dating for a few weeks and he witnesses one of your episodes after a rough mission and he calms you down.





	Help Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably one of my worst fics, I'm so sorry. Again, this is one of my first works.

“Y/N! Cover me!” Rogers yelled, running towards the three HYDRA agents shooting at you. 

You popped up slightly, taking aim at the first guy and hitting him dead in the head. When you took aim for the second guy, you were a second too late and he had already fired on Cap, bullet ripping through his shoulder. He groaned loudly, but continued forwards, your next shot catching the soldier that hit him. 

He knocked over the third and final soldier, knocking him out and cuffing him. “We’ll take him in for questioning.” Cap groaned, gingerly re-attaching his shield to the back mount. 

The ride back to the compound was tense, you purposely avoiding looking at Cap. This was your first mission without the whole team with you. “Y/N its not your fault. He just got a lucky shot.” he reminded you for the third time. You just stayed quiet and willed the thoughts swimming in your head to go away. As soon as the ramp hit the ground you were out of the Quinjet and retreating to your safe haven, your room. 

“Hey, I heard you were back.” Bucky called as he walked into the medical room Steve was sitting in. “Yeah, we got back a few minutes ago.” Steve said, wincing as the nurse finally pried the bullet out of his shoulder. 

“What happened? Where’s Y/N? Is she okay?” Bucky asked, panicking slightly. “Yeah, she’s okay. I think. She thinks it's her fault I got shot. The guy just got lucky and she thinks it was her fault for being too slow.” Steve explained, rubbing his face with his good hand. “I think she went to her room. Buck, she wouldn’t even look at me.” Steve added, looking up at his best friend. Bucky just nodded sadly and walked off to find his girlfriend. 

“It’s all my fault. It’s my fault. He’s hurt and it’s my fault. Why would they let me go on a mission like that? I’m not good enough. I should’ve been quicker.” you ranted to yourself, pacing back and forth in your room. The thoughts swarmed in your head and you collapsed on the floor, shaking and rocking back and forth.

“No, no, no, leave me alone!” you yelled to no one in particular, scratching at your arms harshly. “Make it stop, make it stop.” you whimpered, scrubbing at the hot tears running down your face. You were so lost in your own head, you didn’t hear Bucky come into your room. 

He saw you sitting on the ground, sobbing and rocking yourself back and forth. Your hands moved from rubbing at your eyes back to scratching at your red streaked arms. He rushed over and tried to catch your attention, trying to call your name in a soothing tone. You just continued what you were doing, not even showing that you were able to hear him. 

He sighed and moved to sit behind you. This is what Steve did when he had his episodes while he was still recovering. He reached around you and grabbed your wrists in his hands, pulling your hands apart. You panicked even more at the sudden restriction, pulling hard at his grip and thrashing your body. 

“I don’t wanna do this, doll, you gotta calm down for me, darlin’.” he murmured in your ear, breath ghosting over your neck. You didn’t have enough control over yourself to follow his requests. “No, no, no, no!” you whimpered, crying even harder. 

Bucky huffed and hauled you closer to him, wrapping his arms around you enough to hold you to him but not enough to make you panic more. “Doll, I know you can hear me. Breathe with me darlin’, I’ve got you. Breathe with me.” he said softly in your ear. You calmed down enough to focus on the rise and fall of his chest against your back, doing your best to match your breathing to his. 

Slowly your heart rate slowed back to normal and your brain started to recover from what just happened. “There you go, baby, I’ve got you.” he continued, letting go of your wrists after he felt you were calm enough to not hurt yourself anymore and rubbing gently over where you had scratched yourself. You continued to stare off into the distance as he whispered in your ear, softly rocking you in his arms. “I’m sorry.” you mumbled after a few more moments of silence.

“Don’t apologize, doll, everything’s okay.” he said, his stubble tickling your exposed neck. “I got Steve shot.” you muttered, the anger at yourself bubbling up inside of you. 

“Don’t do that darlin’. It’s not your fault.” he said, rubbing your arm with his left hand, the cool metal soothing you a little bit. “I was too slow.” you said, still refusing to look at your boyfriend. 

“Now listen here, babydoll. You did perfectly fine. The fucker just got lucky, darling. Steve doesn’t blame you, I don’t blame you, don’t blame yourself.” Bucky said, physically turning you around in his arms. He grasped your face in both hands and forced you to look at him. 

“Doll you’re the best shot I’ve ever seen, but you’re not gonna make every shot in time. You got him though, and Cap is fine. He’ll be fully healed in like an hour. Super soldier, remember?” Bucky said, looking you in the eyes. “You, on the other hand, are not. Lemme look at you.” he said, eyes filled with concern.

He grasped your arms and pulled them up to his eye level to examine the self-inflicted scratches. “Buck, I’m fine, I can’t even feel them.” you mumbled, smiling softly at his concern. He smiled at you after he was content that your arms weren’t hurting. 

You wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his chest. “Thank you, Buck.” you said, voice muffled in his muscular chest. 

“Of course doll.” he said, rubbing his hands up and down your back, then pressing a kiss to the top of your head.


End file.
